A Year and a Half Later

Well, it is now March 2010 and I've had my implant for 1 1/2 years now. Suffice it to say, it has given me my life back! I am able to walk in "races", exercise daily, go to various activities, and travel somewhat. I have not needed pain medication since July 2009-- which in and of itself is amazing given the intensity of pain I was experiencing pre-SCS.

This past week, I enjoyed a modified version of "Zoomba"- an exercise class at my gym incorporating Latin Dancing and aerobic-style exercise. Although I self-modified this class (taking no chances on exercises involving "extension") I found the next day I felt *almost* normal. Amazing, really, to find yet another activity that is a Can Do.

Oh, and I attended four lacrosse games in one day this weekend. Unheard of a year and a half ago when I was just hoping to be able to make the occasional game.


Good luck to those of you facing chronic pain and considering a Spinal Cord Stimulator such as the Eon Mini from St. Jude's Medical. It is an individual decision-- one that has changed my life for the better!

Look at the View

It's been a good week. Of course, it started with a backpacking trip. Yeah, that's right. Overnight in a tent. Sleeping on the ground. Would never have believed it possible. Have come so far in the last year. Took off on a 5.5 mile circuit hike in one of the National Parks. The first day, we descended 1200 ft. and let me tell you, contrary to instinct, going downhill was a lot tougher than climbing 1200 ft. on the way out. The scenery was spectacular. It all goes back to my cost-benefit equation. If you are willing to put in the work, go slowly, carry a walking stick for balance, and keep a sense of humor, the payoff will be enormous. Assuming of course, your body is ready to do such a hike. I can't say with complete confidence that my body was ready for this level of exertion. However, I walked 4 miles in a race in the past few weeks, and have been training "hard" to get back on track.
If sustaining a substantial injury has taught me anything, it is simply this: enjoy the moment you are in. Look around-- there are beautiful reminders of God's presence everywhere you look if you take the time. I feel it in the waterfalls, the flowers, the butterflies, the changing color of the leaves, and the sound of the rain falling on the treetops. I have a peacefulness about me that came about during this journey. Someone carved God Loves You into a log near the waterfall where we were hiking. My first thought upon seeing that was-- "Isn't that obvious? Look at the view!"

Well, here I am a month shy of the one year anniversary of having my spinal cord stimulator implanted. It was such a hard decision to make and yet the results have exceeded my wildest hopes and dreams. When asked what I hoped I would be able to do as a result of the SCS implant (while undergoing psych. evaluation to see if I would be a good candidate for the surgery) I stated that I just wanted to: 1) be able to attend a soccer game or one of my childrens performances and 2) be able to shoot hoops with my kids.

Well, on number two, there was a bit of hesitation on the part of the staff evaluating me. Let it be said that I can in fact shoot hoops with my kids. Granted, I can only shoot 3-4 times before I know I've reached my limit, but I am out there. Sunday, I walked 4 miles (!) along a flat boardwalk at Virginia Beach. (Granted the sand and waves were too much but still!) And today, I even did the big waterslide at the waterpark. Would I have dared imagine that I would be able to play in the pool with my kids virtually (though truly never) pain-free???

God bless Rasheed Siddiqui and Preston Grice for giving me the opportunity to undergo this implant. It has truly changed my life!

Former Triathlete Humbled by Aquatic Therapy

Fourth session of aquatic therapy today almost brought me to tears. I consider myself to have a high tolerance for pain and mental toughness. Who would have thought a dip in the pool and a few exercises could be so thoroughly exhausting?

This was a 45 minute session in pool water that was 84 degrees-- about 10 degrees cooler than normal due to a broken heater. I spent the first ten minutes walking around the pool followed by another 5-8 minutes side-stepping. Then came the 10 min. of walking backwards-- I was more focused and had to fully concentrate on this one. By the end, I had nerve pain radiating into my right heel.

30 squats preceded my big move to the deep end. I grabbed a foam noodle (per my aquatic therapists instructions) and began peddling like I was riding a bicycle for 3 minutes. My left leg was controlled-- my right leg seemed to wander as if controlled by a mind of its own. After the three minutes of biking, I did three minutes of jumping jacks (using only my legs) in the deep end. Made it through that. The toughest part I think was doing the cross country skiiing in the deep end. Had to hold the railing to keep from falling over.

Despite mental toughness and the will to improve, today's challenge left me feeling completely exhausted. But I must say it is good to be getting out and moving again, however difficult!

My First Day of Aquatic Therapy

9 months after being implanted with an SCS... I've completed my first day of aquatic therapy.


I went for a dip in the pool today. It was as simple as that. When I got out, I cried. It was as simple as that. Tears of joy. A long journey to get to the point where I am able to drive in my car to the therapy facility, put on my water shoes, walk down the steps into the pool, and get started on rehabilitation.

I started with 10 minutes of walking in the pool, under the guidance of a very positive rehabilitative physical therapist. I eventually did side walking, high steps, leg lifts to the side and back, and core exercises in the deeper water-- trying to maintain my balance while lifting my arms up and down in front of me and at my sides.

After 30 minutes of water therapy in a warm pool (90+ degrees), my muscles felt pleasantly tired. I walked out of the pool and instantly felt the effects of gravity on my body.

I was/am so happy to be starting the process of rebuilding strength, flexibility, and endurance, that I was overcome with emotion on the drive home. I cried the tears of one who loves being active, has been through so much physically, and is finally getting the chance to exercise again.

Aquatic therapy is...
my route to fitness
my hope for a more active lifestyle
a good match for my current abilities/limitations with an SCS
a way of giving me perspective
a method of teaching me the importance of hardwork and commitment
an appointment that causes stress because I need to find a sitter for the kids
a challenge
very emotional
something that looks much easier than it actually is
one road to self-improvement
the right fit for me at this time in my life

It's Good to Have Goals

I am 7 months out from getting my Spinal Cord Stimulator implanted and recently completed a race. It was a 4K walk which is the equivalent of about 2 1/2 miles. Yeah, it really is not that far unless you think of it in terms of where I've been. 7 months ago, I was unable to walk more than a mile before my right leg gave out on me. With the help of technology, I'm getting my stride back! My next goal is a local 4 mile race (walk) over Labor Day weekend. That gives me about 4 !/2 months to add 1 1/2 miles to my regimen. Doable, I think.

In the meantime, I have been cleared by my doctor for a "transitional rehabilitation aquatic therapy" program. I have to do about 12 sessions there before going to a land-based PT program. I am chomping at the bit to get started!

So things are looking good. My goals over the next few months involve core-strengthening and aerobic activity, as well as looking into that next thing to challenge my mind. I am looking into a computational neuroscience program at UVA. Right now, it seems like something I could dive headfirst into and love.

It's good to have goals!

The Cost-Benefit Equation

As any of you who deal with chronic pain knows, there is a simple rule that defines much of what we do physically: I like to call it The Cost-Benefit Equation. If we are mindful of our condition, we carefully weigh each activity we do with the thoughts "If I do this, what will the effect on my back be? Will it be worth the pain?"

Sometimes my personal limitations make me feel like saying, "What the heck-- I'm going for it!" Like yesterday...

...in a flurry of love and affection for my five year old, I picked her up and swirled her around, and around, and around... her giggles made my heart swell at least three sizes. She could definitely appreciate the moment saying, "Mommy, you can pick me up now?!".


In moments like these, I am not always thinking about The Cost-Benefit Equation. This morning, I feel The Cost of that wonderful moment-- I feel like someone has taken a baseball bat to my back and right leg. Fun? Not so much. But the pain, I am told, will always be there. It will be a lifelong journey of "managing the pain". The choice to engage in certain activities will be, thoughtfully, mine.

I will always choose the swirls and the giggles. The Benefits from these moments are immeasurable.